Good vs Bad Divorce: Why how you separate makes all the difference.

What is a “Good Divorce”?

A good divorce doesn’t mean that everything is perfect or painless. It means the couple chooses to separate with respect, communication, and cooperation.

A good divorce focuses on:

• Minimising conflict and hostility
• Protecting children from emotional stress
• Finding fair, transparent solutions for finances and property
• Focusing on the future, not on blame

It’s about handling a difficult time in a way that preserves dignity and allows both people to move forward. Many couples achieve this with the help of Resolution-trained family lawyers, mediators, or collaborative processes designed to encourage calm and constructive discussion.

What makes a “Bad Divorce”?

A bad divorce often happens when communication breaks down and emotions take over. Anger, resentment, or fear can quickly lead to a drawn-out, costly, and emotionally draining legal battle.

Warning signs of a bad divorce include:

• Conflict-driven decisions that escalate tensions
• Using children as bargaining tools or drawing them into disputes
• Unrealistic expectations or refusal to compromise
• Prolonged court battles that leave both parties exhausted

In these cases, the emotional toll can be long-lasting, especially for children who witness or experience the conflict.

Choice and Approach

While the circumstances of a divorce might be beyond your control, the approach you take is not. Choosing a respectful, problem-solving mindset — and seeking guidance from professionals who share that attitude — can transform a painful experience into a manageable transition.

A good divorce focuses on resolution and rebuilding. A bad divorce focuses on winning and blame.

How our family solicitors can help

Family solicitors play a vital role in shaping the tone of a divorce. Our family team at Thackray Williams are members of Resolution.  Resolution is a community of family justice professionals who work with individuals and families to resolve issues in a constructive way.  Members of Resolution follow a Code of Practice that encourages constructive, child-focused solutions and reduces unnecessary conflict.

By prioritising calm negotiation, mediation, or collaborative law, they help clients achieve outcomes that are fair, sustainable, and emotionally healthier.

A Better Way Forward

Divorce will always be challenging, but it doesn’t have to define your future. With the right support and mindset, it’s possible to have a good divorce — one that respects the past while focusing on what comes next.  How you divorce matters — for you, your children, and your peace of mind. 

If you’re considering separation, please contact our specialist family lawyers in London, Kent and the South East to obtain the expertise and support needed to help you through your divorce.    You can reach our expert family lawyers on 020 8290 0440.